Relationships are foundational and ever present in our lives. Even if you choose to move to the mountains, get away from it all, far far away from all the people, you still have some relating to do, mainly with yourself but possibly with mountain lions. I'm no expert on human/mountain lion relationships. (The cats that let me live in their house daily remind me of my neglect of their needs when their food bowls drop below "full" level.) However, I do have extensive training, expertise, and experience supporting human relationships. All joking aside, relationship are beautiful but hard, especially post-pandemic. We just went through a profoundly challenging few years and it has taken a toll on our most important relationships in our lives. If you're feeling relationship stress right now, I get it. It makes sense. Now that we are out of the pandemic and not fighting to survive, it is the best time to start rebuilding those relationships with the ones you love the most. I've compiled 7 commonly asked questions about couples therapy. Below, I will share about what to expect in relationship therapy and how you and your partner can start rebuilding connection and mutual love today!
What should I expect during couples therapy?
You can expect to spend some time talking about your relationship, the sticking points and journey to where you are now in your relationship. We will have discussions and invitations to reflect on historical experiences you find impacting your current relationship. You will probably be asked about emotions and invited to feel them as well. Most importantly, you can expect I will be with you through the whole process.
Do we have to talk about emotions?
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. There are probably really important reasons why you might like to skip the conversation about emotions. I get it! However, we know that change happens when we experience something at an emotional level. This work with emotions is my passion, and I use my extensive training and experience to support and guide you through the process. I will be there with you throughout the process, warmly inviting you to try something different. This process works. It really does. The things we practice in sessions will feel more doable and more natural outside of sessions. I invite you to give a try.
Will we always meet together or will we have individual meetings?
Most of our work will be together! It’s “couples” therapy after all. However, at the beginning, after we’ve met together for the first intake appointment, I will schedule a one-on-one meeting with each partner. These meetings are a great time to get to know you individually. You can expect me to ask some questions about your past experiences in relationships and about ways you relate with yourself as well as others. I will also ask questions and be curious about what you hope to get out of therapy.
There is something I haven't told my partner, will you keep it a secret if I tell you?
If you have a secret, something you’ve not shared with your partner, it may be helpful for me to know that. However, in general, I am not a secret keeper. If you share a secret with me, I’ll work with you to support you in sharing that with your partner.
Do you do premarital counseling?
Yes, I do! I love supporting couples preparing to getting married. What a beautiful time in the relationship to grow together and set a strong foundation for the relationship.
Can we do couples counseling if we’re not married?
Of course! I’m here to support relationships in their various beautiful forms. You get to define what your relationship is and deserve the support regardless of your paperwork status. Poly, ENM welcome!
Are you trained to do couples counseling?
Yes, I am extensively trained in a model of therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the gold standard for relationship therapy. It is a therapy model developed for relationships, partnerships, and marriages. Even though I already have extensive experience and training supporting relationships, I am also committed to continually be growing and building my expertise. Currently, I am completing EFT Core Skills training, an advanced level training in EFT and am in consultation working toward certification.
How do we start couples therapy?
To get started with couples counseling, send me a message to schedule your free initial consultation. Consultations can either be by phone or video, your choice! After you send me a message, you should expect to hear back from me within 1 to 2 business days with available dates and times for the consultation. You can expect the conversation to be about 20 to 30-minutes. Both you and your partner need to be a part of the call or video meeting in order to start the process together. During the initial consultation, you can expect me to ask a few "get to know you" questions like, "What brings y'all to therapy?" or invitations like, "Tell me a little bit about your relationship and what you hope to work on in therapy." Because this is an initial conversation, we will not be diving in deep or be able to hear all the details. This initial consultation will be a time for me to get to know you and your partner a bit, hearing about what feels stuck in your relationship, and for you to get to know me and ask questions about what to expect in therapy. There is no better time than today to start fighting for your relationship. Message me today to get started!
Lindsay Cade, LPC (she/her) is a licensed mental health therapist serving the LGBTQ+ community and allies with 8 years experience. She uses affirming, client-centered methods to help folks find freedom from their past and healing in their life. Message her today to get started on your journey to healing.