Grief is not on a schedule, but the world around us expect us to be. They are ready to see you move on, but you can’t.
I invite you to throw away your grief watch.
You’ve been through the anger. You’ve been through the bargaining. You’ve been through the crying or busyness in all directions avoiding like hell. You’re exhausted and things are kinda blah. This season of grief reminds me of autumn when the time changes. It is that chill in the air after a flurry of activity and busyness, at the end of summer’s scorching heat. It is when things suddenly slow and we are left in this drab, gray holding space, not really moving backward, but definitely not moving forward.
But the world wants you to move forward. You are scheduled to return to productivity again, remember?
I invite you to take a deep breath.
Let it out.
Do it a few more times if it feels right.
Grief is not on a schedule. It doesn’t work that way, and people won’t understand. Sometimes you won’t understand. So we go back to what we practiced earlier in grief, Name It.
We acknowledge that today we are here, unable to move forward, not really moving backward. We are here, and we are doing the best we can. This is grief. This is sadness. This is…
Go back to that breath.
I invite you, where ever you find yourself today, to throw away your grief watch. It may not change the outside expectations of everyone else, but maybe, watch-less, you’ll find some relief from the internal tick tick tick, that ever annoying pressure to be somewhere other than right here, exactly where you are.
Be gentle with yourself. Be compassionate. You’re doing the best that you can, and that’s enough.
Author: Lindsay Cade, LPC [she/her/hers] is a licensed mental health therapist with 7 years experience providing mental health services. Read more about Lindsay here or contact her today to discuss starting therapy.
Series Table of Contents
INTRO: HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF: An Invitation
PART 1: HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF: We All Need A Village
PART 2: HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF: Name It
PART 3: HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF: Be Curious
PART 4: HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF: Practice Remembrance
PART 5: HOW TO COPE WITH GRIEF: Throw Away Your Grief Watch